pain

So...In rougly 14 hours, the 9th He Reigns event will take place. 9 has always been my lucky number, yet this years event will be the first one without me involved in any way. This is NOT of my own doing. I started the He Reigns event because of a calling from God. I felt compelled to organize the worship event in order to bring christians of differing backgrounds together. I also wanted it to be a sort of a counter to the othe larger rock and blues events in the area that always tend to invove a lot of alcohol and are not family friendly. I felt that He Reigns would be eventually grow into multiple events, spreading the Gospel and hoped to reach out to people in a positive way. I cannot say that what is happening now with He Reigns is bad (I dont feel that way at all), but I can say that it is not the same vision that started the event. It was intended to be more than just an event. I wanted it to be an organization..working to do more outreach to the community. It is now a pretty big, yearly event that brings a number of local church bands together. I cannot say exatly how it is that the founder of He Reigns has been completely removed from the event, but I can say that it is not easy for me. I wish things were different...but then...there are a lot of things closely connected to this that I wish were different. I do not want anybody to think that I am bitter...I'm NOT. I am glad to see He Reigns continuing an reaching the community. I would have loved to be a part of this event that is taking place tomorrow, but then again...I would have loved to have never been taken out of the loop to begin with, which started back in fall of 2009. The biggest reason that I will not be at the event this year (at least not the bulk of it) is because it is too hard for me to do. I have been actively involved in ministry in some form since 2003...and now, I have been removed from most everything....though that is changing in a way...anyways...I need to stop for now...I wish everyone the best tomorrow and hope to hear about yet another sucessful "He Reigns!" event.