Life is good...and you can't really help how you feel.

So, the past three days have been completely filled with music for me. Thursday was another fun night hosting Open Mic at Wayne's Place. We had a few new faces step up and jam which was really nice. Friday, Dave and I jammed at Uncle Kenny's Saloon. Any time we get together to do something, it ends up being a fun time. Today I opened up a show with a bunch of artists at Uncle Buck's riding stable and dance barn. Jeremy Gibson put the event together and I was happy to be part of it. I got to take Miranda and Liam to one of my performances for the first time in months...which was really nice. Today was also the day of what has become an annual event...He Reigns. I have to admit that I am torn about this concert. I founded He Reigns in 2007 as a music ministry. It's grown a great deal from the smaller events inside the Mulberry Community Center, but the vision is not exactly what I had in mind for it. I don't really have anything to do with the series anymore, which is not by my design. I didnt choose to be out of that picture, yet that is the reality. I am glad to see the event continuing, but it's a bittersweet feeling. It might not bother me quite as much had my "removal" from the event been something I was at least slightly in agreement with. I've asked to be included in it, even if it was just leading worship for a short set, but that hasn't happened. I'm sure that the people in charge of it have their reasons, and I'm also fairly sure that I wouldn't agree with them. Anyways...I've got another big show coming up on saturday night with White Noise. I'm also working on getting things in order for a big benefit concert to help out with expenses in the wake of my mom's death. So I'm keeping myself occuppied...I am just a bit irritated right now. It seems that the harder I try, the more frustrating life becomes.

What in the world is going on with me?

I finally recovered the information for this account to sign in again since it was on my laptop that I reformatted. *doh!* It's been almost a year since the last entry and it's been a mixed bag again with most things resting on the extremes. I'm back down to being in one band again (as well as an acoustic duo/side project). Southbound came to an end after we basically just stopped practicing, That sucked. Things had gotten stale and it stopped being fun for the most part. F-Five is now White Noise and going strong. I'm also hosting Open Mic at Wayne's Place on thursday nights. I've been harrassed by police in middleport. I made a big move to Racine United Methodist Church that left much to be desired. It's been months now since I've been to church, following several issues with the pastor at the church in Racine. We had a dispute on my last day there about sunday morning services where it was brought to my attention that he didnt feel it was his job to teach the bible to people on sunday mornings and that THAT was something meant for bible study, not "church". Since then I've had to do a lot of searching in my heart over where I stand. I'm torn about so many things in the church right now. I still feel called to ministry, but experiences like that make things feel hopeless at times. I cannot continue to be a part of a body of believers who is led by a man who (in my opinion) has no real place in leadership. I'm glad that I didnt complicate the situation by joining while I was there. I'm looking to make a move as soon as next week. I had intended to make a change early this month, but life stepped in. My mom passed away in the beginning of July and sent my world for a loop. I feel empty...like something big is missing from me...I'm feeling more broken than ever before. I've put off a move to another church because I wanted to take a bit of time to collect myself, but I'm finding out that if I keep waiting for that to happen, I'll never end up going again. I need to start moving forward now. I've got enough stuff on my mind to type away for hours, but I'll try to put it to rest for now. I'll be getting back to writing and posting soon I hope, but unlike the last few times I said that and didnt, I'm not making any promises right now.