What in the world is going on with me?

I finally recovered the information for this account to sign in again since it was on my laptop that I reformatted. *doh!* It's been almost a year since the last entry and it's been a mixed bag again with most things resting on the extremes. I'm back down to being in one band again (as well as an acoustic duo/side project). Southbound came to an end after we basically just stopped practicing, That sucked. Things had gotten stale and it stopped being fun for the most part. F-Five is now White Noise and going strong. I'm also hosting Open Mic at Wayne's Place on thursday nights. I've been harrassed by police in middleport. I made a big move to Racine United Methodist Church that left much to be desired. It's been months now since I've been to church, following several issues with the pastor at the church in Racine. We had a dispute on my last day there about sunday morning services where it was brought to my attention that he didnt feel it was his job to teach the bible to people on sunday mornings and that THAT was something meant for bible study, not "church". Since then I've had to do a lot of searching in my heart over where I stand. I'm torn about so many things in the church right now. I still feel called to ministry, but experiences like that make things feel hopeless at times. I cannot continue to be a part of a body of believers who is led by a man who (in my opinion) has no real place in leadership. I'm glad that I didnt complicate the situation by joining while I was there. I'm looking to make a move as soon as next week. I had intended to make a change early this month, but life stepped in. My mom passed away in the beginning of July and sent my world for a loop. I feel empty...like something big is missing from me...I'm feeling more broken than ever before. I've put off a move to another church because I wanted to take a bit of time to collect myself, but I'm finding out that if I keep waiting for that to happen, I'll never end up going again. I need to start moving forward now. I've got enough stuff on my mind to type away for hours, but I'll try to put it to rest for now. I'll be getting back to writing and posting soon I hope, but unlike the last few times I said that and didnt, I'm not making any promises right now.